Forparentsofteens's Blog

• Natural Consequences…..   Natural consequences tend to be harsher as teens grow older. When they let homework slide, lower grades are a natural result. Teens who treat friends unkindly face the loss of friendships, another natural consequence of their actions. Car accidents may lead to increased insurance premiums or loss of driving privileges.
• Parents must decide when a teen’s welfare or the welfare of others is seriously endangered, and take action. If your child is engaging in risky behaviors of any sort, it’s time to intervene, monitor behavior closely, and perhaps seek professional support.
• We are living in a dangerous World today.  Being a parent of a teenager is a very difficult job.  But being a teenager today is even more difficult.  Teens today are exposed to a lot of violence especially in the media, where in turn makes them insensitive to it.  Drugs and sex is on the rise.  Making good judgments for a teen is especially difficult because of peer pressure. 
• Severe consequences are to fallow for mistakes kids make.  Sexually transmitted diseases and potential drugs, pills, and pornography are every day risks for teens.  Internet, as wonderful as it is can be a deadly weapon. Not only anyone can learn how to build a bomb but also allows predators into kids homes through computer technologies.
• Never before the violence, hate and sex available to teens in graphic form, i.e. hate groups, pornography was available in our homes when parents are not watching by a click of a bottom. 
• The question is:  How do we teach our youth to be strong and make good decisions to avoid bad natural consequences? How do we make our children want to listen to parents where they favorite media and friends over their own parents. 
• I often wonder if I should give less or more discipline to my growing children. 

Garth Mintun is a licensed clinical social worker and has worked in a variety of health care, social service and mental health.  Settings.  He says that:

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  • The biggest problem with authoritarian parental discipline is that it does not provide space for the child to learn from natural consequences. Often authoritarian discipline prevents the child from learning through mistakes. As a result, later as a teenager he/she may rebel, making it more difficult to keep him/her safe. If, for example, Johnny drinks and drives, then natural consequences are losing his car privileges for a while until he can demonstrate that he/she will be responsible. He/she may also give you ideas for natural consequences for drinking. Natural consequences, providing the teen with a way to ¡§redeem¡¨ him/herself with trust, is a wonderful way parents can teach teens to be mature. With natural consequences, dialogue is needed to problem-solve and to determine what actions should be taken to remedy the act. A spirited dialogue with the parents and teen through open communication shows the child that, although he/she does not have final say, he/she at the very least plays an important part in the act of considering the consequences. Parents want to be sure that they allow their teens the opportunity to gain their trust back without impossible consequences.
•  I believe that if we are teaching our children problem-solving skills and how to think critically, they will know how to make good decisions when they are adults. We need to teaching them respect for rules as well as respect for others by being respectful in our contact with them. If we teach them these skills we will open for them the door to create a child that will be experienced problem solver, where natural consequences, and critical thinking will be a gift they can use the rest of their life.